Monday, November 18, 2013

budgets and buzz kills

Budgets are something I've thought about a lot. I've never be too successful with them, yet I know exactly how to create a good one. Make sense? No, it doesn't. 

With Sam and I's recent job changes, we've been forced to implement pretty strict changes in our spending. Those changes could also be classified as "buzz kills." After a few weeks of monitoring (and cutting back), we've realized how things add up and determined what's worth it and what's not. 

So, in the spirit of budgets, I've come up with a list of what's worth skipping these days to save some cash (and ultimately pay our bills...): 

(1) Dining out. I'm trying to live by the new rule that if we can make it at home, it's most certainly not something we should spend money on right now. We've successfully eaten at home about 90 percent of the time in the last couple months, which is exponentially higher than it ever was in the past. Now that I've brought my lunch nearly every day since starting my new job, I've found that I've built a good habit and don't crave dining out as often as I used to. Baby steps!

(2) Snacks on snacks on snacks. Honestly, snacks are so expensive. We used to keep a lot of random things on hand - granola bars, several types of chips, crackers, hummus, etc. - and, often times, some of it would go bad before it got completely eaten. But now, I've avoided the snack section at Sam's Club and simplified to having fewer options on hand that I know we'll eat.

(3) Soda and Starbucks drinks. Partly because of yoga and partly because I feel guilty spending money, I've cut back a lot on drinking anything other than milk and water. Do I really need a Mountain Dew? Do I really need that delicious iced green tea lemonade? Unfortunately, the answer is no. That's not to say I don't treat myself here and there, but I tend to go for the free option (a can of soda at work) instead of the $4 option at Starbucks.

(4) Shopping and impulse buys. It might be on sale, and it might be ridiculously cheap, but I must walk away. No more random shopping sprees for this girl. It kills me a little inside, but what I make at my second job is what I have to spend on my fun-stuff. So, it's all dictated by what those checks amount to and what's left after my monthly yoga membership. It's working out so far... and, dare I say, I don't seem to be missing it TOO badly.

(5) Miscellaneous Services. No more threading my eyebrows regularly. No more car washes. No more manicures or pedicures every month. You get the picture. If I can do it myself, I should.

Wow. Just writing that out was a buzz kill. It's been a house of "no" lately, but it's also been a positive thing. It's good to be cutting off habits that in the long-term would be damaging to our wallets. I also think I'm appreciating things much more. When I do get to buy something while shopping, it's a treat. When we do grab dinner out, it's a treat. It's good.

Just another challenge I've signed up for - except it will last much longer than 30 days.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

adopting the “hey, it’s ok!” mentality

Recently I came to the realization that I had been living a distracted life in which I felt the need to account for every minute of every day. No time for breaks, just checking things off. Constantly.

And, no matter how I sliced it, or how well I multi-tasked, I still found myself far behind. There was never a day long enough to catch me up. My thoughts and actions were controlled by to-do lists, email notifications, and a jam-packed agenda. In my brain, everything was stamped with big red letters spelling “URGENT,” making me think it just couldn’t wait. I was always in a hurry. 

In short, my task-driven nature had become a problem rather than an ideal trait, and I needed to relax.

Living a distracted life gives you tunnel vision – you only see (and focus on) what’s next. There were very few “savoring the moment” moments or no-plan days, and it was nobody’s fault but my own.

Living life in a hurry is no way to live.

Today, I’m making a promise to myself to let go a bit. Slow down a little more. Enjoy things every day. Prioritize better. And adopt the “hey, it’s ok!” mentality when something isn’t done just as I want it to be done, exactly when I think it needs to be done.

Imagine all the little voices in my head whispering “hey, it’s OK!” phrases to me all day:

“Hey, it’s OK if there are some dirty dishes in the sink.”

“Hey, it’s OK if the house is messy just a little bit longer.”

“Hey, it’s OK to put my phone away for the evening.”

“Hey, it’s OK to sit on the couch all day today.”

“Hey… it’s OK! … Seriously, it’s OK!”


Today, I’m stepping back and telling myself that it’s OK. No more tunnel vision. No more distracted living, because I want to be 100 percent present wherever I am.